Mommy Fail?

This afternoon, Bub once again threw several tantrums -- one about doing homework, one because I asked him to stop teasing Boash by grabbing away his new toy, and one because I asked him to take some time to relax and calm down before he re-entered the playroom.

Rumbling like an subsiding volcano, he finally threw himself on the couch, pulled a blanket over himself, and proceeded to ignore the world. From underneath his lair, I occasionally heard a harumphing sound that meant he hated me and was mad at the world.

What a mommy fail, I thought.

Finally, he emerged and started down the stairs to the playroom. My four year old, who had come home from school in an equally grumpy mood, was down there playing by himself. I listened carefully, bracing myself for the eruption that I knew would ensue. Bub's first remark caught me off guard.

Bub: "Hey Boo, you wanna do cartwheels and handstands with me?" [A rare invitation to play]

Boo: "NOO!" [grumbling]

Bub: "Boo...I know you're feeling kind of, you know, ugggggh. You remember I was in a bad mood before? I was all, like, mfnshtnaaaargh! And then I lay down on the couch near Mommy with the blanket over me all the way, and I just had some time alone under there and rested, and then when I came out I was like this. See how happy I am now? If you need to rest, or be by yourself, go do that now and then you'll feel better like me. And then we could play together!"

[Pause]

Boo: "Wanna jump on the trampoline with me?"

Bub: "Yeah! Let's go!"

Um...Mommy fail?

I'm reminded of a horrible (free) parenting class that I took several years ago when Bub was a toddler. The lecturer did make one good point, though. She talked about how we had to rethink the meaning of the word "worked" when it came to parenting techniques. That just because giving into a tantrum calms the child down, doesn't mean that it "worked" at all. And that just because a technique doesn't stop a tantrum in its tracks or morph our child into an angel, doesn't mean that it didn't "work."

I thought that none of the empathy and guidance I had given him today had worked. If I hadn't overheard his advice to his younger brother, I would have considered myself a failure.

Something to remember, next time you think you've committed the dreaded #mommyfail.